


Baby sitting and tot eating alligators

by sketzocase



Series: Baby Aki's guide to the marvel universe [1]
Category: Venom (Movie 2018), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Crack, M/M, cross over!, kid! daken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 17:51:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16581218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sketzocase/pseuds/sketzocase
Summary: (Crossover between Venom(2018) and x-men comics). Eddie does an interview with a top x-man on mutant relations- a top x-man who happened to not be able to find a sitter. Venom gets a quick lesson in the ways of human children.





	Baby sitting and tot eating alligators

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been wanting to do Venom for a while- the only time I've ever written him was when he had Mac as a host. THEN I saw Venom. I saw Venom and I was working on my kid fic and my brain went side ways and anyway here it is. (Of course it's still Daken- that's my boy- but I choose baby Daken b/c Grown up Daken's interactions with venom never went well for him (Mainly b/c of the Mac thing) 
> 
> Anywho- here's what I got!

**Logan’s POV**

 

Doing interviews isn’t really my bag- no matter how well planned I am for them- something always goes wrong.

Chuck said it would ‘help improve relations’ and everyone else was busy sooo ... Here I am.

Trouble is, the wife’s busy and I couldn’t find a sitter.

So… Aki is with me.  
  
That's what's gone wrong so far. 

He's with me and he has been anything but helpful. Crawling all over me, crawling all over the journalist, messing with the equipment. Making a general pain of himself.

I had to warn Brock not to take his picture or use his name in the article.   
  
Aki hasn't really understood the 'he can't take your picture' part of the deal. 

I had to take us to Hardee's so his mouth would be full and he could say less. 

...That hasn't worked in my favor. 

I’m gonna have to call it soon. Too much interference. Maybe reschedule for another day.

Sure Brock won’t mind. He doesn’t seem like the ‘kid’ type. Whenever Aki gets close- he has almost a pained expression on his face.   
  
My kid's a great kid- don't get me wrong... but he can get under your skin reaaaaallll fast. It's like his secondary mutant power. 

There’s an explosion from about a mile off from where we seated- stealing both of our attention.

I watch as a small stream of smoke trickles to the sky. 

Let's see... we're downtown... it's coming from over near the financial district- probably pretty cut and dry super villain bullshit. 

Still... someone's gonna have to take care of it. 

“Oh fuck.” I curse. “Look at that smoke.”

“Fuck! Fuck!” Aki repeats, happily.

"Don't say that." I shush. 

"fuck." he whispers.   
  
I give him a stern look that says I heard that. 

Eddie Brock- a guy I don’t really know seeing as he writes about legit issues and isn’t after superhuman gossip like all the other reporters seem to do- looks like he’s perplexed about something. Having an internal conversation or something. Even more so when the smoke gets higher and more noticeable. 

Maybe dude’s a telepath. Who knows? That look on his face definitely means heavy mental concentration- I’ve seen Jeanie and Emma use it a thousand times over.

Looks a little distracted in general. Five o'clock shadow at noon, hair kinda messy. 

People come rushing towards us- away from the blast.

“Ohh… look at the people, daddy!” Aki says, pointing. "Where are they going???" 

I don’t see any first responders or heroes going to the scene… and I’m the closest one to ground zero… so… I kinda gotta go check it out.

“Fuck it.” I stand up, pulling my mask down. “Look- I know we just met, but I gotta go handle that.” I point in the direction of billowing clouds of smoke. “Can you watch the kid? He won’t be any trouble and I swear I’ll be right back.”

Brock looks at me for a long moment, visibly shaken. “I- I’m not good with kids.” He says finally. "Really not good with them." 

“Just… keep him here and don’t let him run into the street.” I falter by the side of the sidewalk. “And if you hurt him- I’ll gut you. Got it?”

Eddie nods. “Sure. I mean.. Yea. But you’ll be right back- right?”

“Eh… yea. Sure. Aki be good for Mr. Brock.” I scent the air, running off towards the sound of danger.

 

**Eddie’s POV.**

The kid stares at me with wide blue eyes.

His features are little- he can’t be more than five.

I’m guessing from his looks- he’s a least somewhat Japanese... I didn’t know Wolverine had a wife period. Let alone her ethnicity. I wonder if I could find a way to get in touch with the x-men and have them come back the kid up.

He plays with some strands of his jet black hair- shaved on the sides of his head and barely sticking up in the middle. Wolverine's got some weird ideas about kid's hair styles. 

He crosses his arms over his Captain America shirt. Dudes a little small.  Even for a five year old. 

“Are you gonna ask me questions?” he asks innocently.

“Uh no,” I say. “I needed to ask your daddy questions.”

“Ask me questions.” He says. 

I feel Venom stir under my skin- he’s usually quiet for interviews- it took a lot of negotiating to get him to promise to be quiet. A lot of bargaining and a lot of bribing.

 **“Tiny humanoid.”** He says in my head. **“Easy snack. Crunchy.”**

See this? This is why I don’t watch kids.

I wasn’t good at watching them before... But since joining with V and him thinking that anything smaller than us is easy picking- I’ve avoided them like the plague.

‘Kids aren’t for eating.’ I scold internally.

I swear this is already on the list of things we discussed.   
  
That list has gotten so long though- it's fucking impossible to tell what we have and haven't gone over.   
  
Add onto the fact that Venom 'forgets' topics we've discussed to get his way and it makes for a pretty confusing time. 

**“Why? You don’t like them. They are an annoyance to you.”**

‘How many times do we have to fight this fight?’ I feel exhausted and let him know it. ‘Just because a person annoys me does not make them food. Besides- eating a kid is _never_ an option. No matter how annoying they are. They can’t help it.”

 **“Your race has so many societal views that perplex me.”** Venom rumbles. **“Children are just small humans. Humans who annoy you are often food. It would only make sense that children would also be food. It seems like you're alienating a valuable and plentiful food source.”**

‘Kids aren’t food- V. And that’s the end of it.' I think tiredly. 

He’s not happy with that answer and I can almost feel him sulking.

Let him sulk. We've- I mean I've- got bigger problems right now. 

“You smell funny.” The kid says, standing up from his seat and walking towards the road. “And you make funny faces. If you're not going to ask me questions- I'm going to go. Bye bye!”

“Wait!” I quickly snatch him up.

**“Food now?”**

“No!” I growl in exasperation. “Not food.”

“What’s not food?” The kid squirms in my arms, lightly kicking at my gut.

 **"He's kicking us."** Venom growls. 

'We're still not eating him.' 

I inhale deeply and put the small child down inside the terrace of the Hardee’s.

“How long does it take your daddy to do missions?” I ask.

**"What does that matter? If we eat him, we'll be doing his father a _favor_. Less hassle." **

'No. No. NO. No more talk about eating the kid- got me? I swear I will eat salads for a week if you keep it up.' 

 **"Eat salads, then."** Venom says smugly.  **"I am also capable of withholding things _you_ like , Eddie." **

 _'_ Is that a threat?' I think. 

 **'Promise.'** He chuckles.   
  
There are a few things I know Venom is very good at doing.. and I don't want to miss out on those things. 

But... we also can't eat a kid.

The kid in front of us shrugs. “You smell really funny.” he crinkles his nose.

He's just upping the annoying factor.

“I showered just-”

“Uh-uh. You smell… spacey.”

“Spacey?” I ask in confusion.

“Like alien people,” he says with a nod. “Are you an alien person?”

I’m too shocked to say anything. He.. can smell us? did that mean his dad could smell us?   
  
We have a  smell? 

I feel Venom’s curiosity spike. It's obviously thrown him too. 

**“He can smell us? How... interesting. Do normal human children have this sense of smell?”**

‘No.’ I think. ‘This one’s a mutant. They have gifts normal humans don’t. I guess.. it's part of his powers.’

There’s a sense of vibration in my skull- Venom sorting through my memories to find out more on mutants.

 **'Other mutants didn't smell us."** He says finally. 

'Must be part of his gift.' I think back. 

 **"We need more info."** His voice coils around my mind as I feel heavy presence settling into the back of my head as he continues to use my head like his own personal wikipedia page. 

I’ve done a few pieces on mutants recently. Snagging an interview with Wolverine was a major step in the right direction for my career. Especially since I’ve just gotten back to New York.

“You’re an alien person or a smelly person.” The kid crosses his arms. “Which one is it?”

“Uh.. neither,” I say. “Why don’t you eat your chicken nuggets?”

Venom stirs yet again. **“Why are you feeding _him_ and not _us_. We haven’t eaten since this morning.”**

‘Yea, well you ate a cat this morning. I think you’ve eaten enough for right now..’

 **“The cat was not sufficient.”** He growls.

“I wanna go help daddy.” the kid says, starting to walk off again while I'm distracted with V.

“Oh no, you don’t.” I grab him up and hold in front of me- not sure what to do.

He stares me in the face with a look of curiosity. “Can I play with your camera?” He asks.

“No.”

“Can I play with your voice recorder thingy?”

“No.”

“Can I play with-”

“NO. You can’t play with anything!” I snap. “We’re going to sit here- quietly- and wait for your daddy to get back.

He’s quiet for all of five seconds. “Can I have different food? Tater tots would be better. This chicken is subpar.”

 **“I like him.”** Venom says with an unearthly chuckle in my mind.

‘I thought you wanted to eat him.’

**“We can play with our food.”**

Guess I walked into that one.

“Hey, hey, hey mister reporter man!” The kid pokes me with his finger. “Can I have some tater tots?”

“Fine. If you stop poking me.” I say.

“I promise not to poke you.” He says.

“Thanks." there's an awkward moment. ".. Let’s go get tater tots then.”

I set him down and take him in the restaurant.

Me and Anne never wanted kids.

I’m not really good with them and she said her job was too busy for us to have one.

 **"Anne would have made strong spawn."** Venom adds his usual brand of commentary. 

I choose to ignore him.   
  
I'm really not good with kids. 

Being left with a super hero’s kid has got to be the strangest thing that’s happened in a while. And that’s coming from the guy who’s toting an alien symbiote around.

I walk us to the back counter and place three orders of tater tots.

“That’s a lot of tots.” The kid says in awe.

“Yea.. the other two are for me,” I explain, paying for the food when the lady behind the counter gives me the tray.

We head back outside so I can track the chaos and see when his dad will come back.

“What’s your name anyway?” I ask, pulling a chair out for him. He climbs up and starts eating. I can't keep calling him 'kid'. And his dad basically told me to ignore him and not include him in any of research. 

“Aki,” he says. "That's with an A, and a K, and an I. And I'd like to go on record." 

That makes me smile. “How old are you?”

He holds up four fingers.

“And you live with the x-men?”

“My daddy is an x-man,” he says, shoving more and more food into his mouth. 

I watch him for a second. “You’re going to choke if you keep eating like that.”

“Na uh,” he says with a full mouth.

 **“You’re not eating.”** Venom says pointedly. 

‘Relax.’ I say.

He makes a low hum of annoyance that reverberates around my skull.

Aki eats all of his tots and reaches over and starts to go for mine.

I can see where this is going to go and I can't stop it in time. 

“Don’t do that!" I say just as a black tendril leaves my chest and smacks his hand.

Aki’s eyes are big as he stares at me.

“Do it again!” he cries, going back for more tots.

Venom growls- his voice coming through my mouth- and he pins the kid's hand to the wooden table.

Aki takes his other hand and grabs the tendril- pulling on it.

I feel Venom’s anger floating behind my eyeballs.

 **“Stop.”** He snarls- forming a face beside mine.

Aki’s eyes are big before pointing. “Alien! I knew it! You ARE ann alien person!”

 **“Yes, an alien that will eat small humans if they keep taking our tater tots.”** He hisses, showing is rows and rows of teeth.

Aki cocks his head to the side. “Can I touch your teeth?”

“No!” I say, feeling Venom’s amusement in my head. “No, you can’t touch his teeth. Don't touch him period- okay?”

The black tendril holding Aki’s hand down retreats, moving to the tray in front of me to grab some tots instead, pulling it to his mouth and eating loudly.

“Wanna see my secret ‘teeth’?” Aki asks.

“No.”

 **“Yes.”** Venom’s voice overrides mine.

Aki balls his little fist up for a second, concentrating as three small bone like claws extend from his knuckles and wrist. “See??” He says happily.

“That’s… uh... Really cool.” I offer a small smile. “Put those away now- okay?”

Aki nods. Sitting silently for a second while, staring at Venom.

“Are you an alligator?” Aki asks.

Venom cocks his head to the side. **“No.”**

“Are you a crocodile?”

**“No.”**

“Are you a reporter man?”

**“Hmmm. Not exactly.”**

“Do you live inside the reporter man?”

Aki is grasping this faster than a lot of adults do. It’s kind of freaking me out.

**“Yes.”**

“Do you eat _people_?” He asks.

“ **Bad ones.”**

Aki nods. “I have a whole list of bad guys you can eat!” He says excitedly. “That would really help daddy out!”

 **“You are a very interesting little human.”** Venom chuckles.  **"Give Eddie the list."**

“I will!" Aki says happily. "Are there more aliens like you?”

**“Yes.”**

“In more people’s bodies?”

**“Possibly.”**

“Aki,” I say seriously, interrupting their conversation before V gives any more away. “You can’t tell anyone about this- do you understand?”

“Not talking to you.” He puts his hand up, scooting over closer to Venom. “Where’s the rest of you?” He asks- his only warning before he reaches out and grabs both sides of Venom’s face and pulls. There’s a long stream of black goo as he tugs. "Come out!" He grunts. "I wanna play with you!"

Venom screeches loudly as I try to get Aki to stop pulling.

“Aki stop!” I snap. “You’re hurting him!” I pull away in one jerky movement. 

Aki stops suddenly. “I’m sorry.” He says. “I want to play.”

Venom absorbs back into my body, receding quicker than I've ever seen him do. “He didn’t like that.” I scold.

“Are you his husband?” Aki asks, off topic.

My face heats up. “What?”

“His husband. Because he lives inside of you.”

Venom chuckles, reappearing. **“Yes, Eddie. You are.”**

“NO,” I say. “I’m not. I’m his… host.”

“Host?”

“He needs me to live.”

“So he’s like a husband,” Aki says.

“No- “

“Mommy says she couldn’t live without Daddy.” He says. “So… you’re married. Like a mommy and daddy.”

Venom reaches back out and eats more tater tots, enjoying my embarrassment.

 **"You're the 'mommy', Eddie."** He says lowly.

"You are?" Aki asks. 

"No!" 

 **"Yes."** Venom overrules me again. 

“What we have is different.” I try to explain.

“How?”Aki asks. 

“It just is.” I snap.

“But he doesn’t eat you.”

“... yea…”

I mean- there was a rocky patch at first- sure. But as of right now I am firmly off the menu. 

“And he must like you a least a little.” 

“Well … yea... But..”

“Then he can be your husband!” Aki says. "See?? It's easy!" 

V seems to think that’s hilarious.

“Sure , Aki, but I can only do that if you do me a favor.” I say, trying a new tactic.

He nods seriously. "What?" 

“You can’t tell anyone about Venom.” I say. "okay?" 

“That’s his name?”

“That’s his name. And he’s a really big secret.”

“Then you probably shouldn’t wear him in the street.” He whispers.

I sigh, trying to keep going. “He’s a secret that you and I know but that your daddy can’t- okay?”

He nods.”Okay!”

Speaking of daddies- I see Logan walking back towards me.

“Big secret- remember?”I whisper. 

Venom absorbs back into my skin just as Wolverine comes into sight. 

He waves to us. “Thanks, Brock. I owe you.” He says. “Hope he wasn’t too much trouble.”

Aki leans over and pokes my side. "come out." He whispers. 

“Not at all.” I wince.

He keeps poking. "Cooommmme ouuuuttt and plaaaay." He says. "We can got more tater tots!!"

“Come on Aki!” Logan scoops him up. "Stop poking Mr. Brock." 

“Awwwwwwh… I wasn’t done playing with Venom!” Aki pouts.

I try to hide my expression of fear. Some secret that was. 

“Venom- huh? Another imaginary friend?” Logan asks. 

Aki grins at me. “Yea. He's an alien crocodile who eats tater tots.”

Maybe that will buy us some time- him thinking Aki was just making stuff up. Kid is kinda young.

"That's a new one." Logan hugs him tight and laughs. “Thanks again.” He says. “Avengers will take over the mission... You should be safe here. Maybe we can reschedule.”

“Sure.” Suddenly I feel myself fading back as V takes control. **“And bring Aki.”** He says through my vocal cords and my voice. I snap back into the driver’s seat. “Or not.” I try to laugh it off. “Ya know- just saying- it wasn’t a bother.”

Logan nods. “Yea. I’ll keep that in mind. Say 'bye' Aki.

"Bye!" The kids grins. "Next time we can have doughnuts!" 

**"Hmm... doughnuts sound good.  Eddie, get us doughnuts."**

"Bye Aki." I say awkwardly. 

 **"He is... cute."** V says.  **"Like those puppies you like to look at."**

'That kid could grow up to be as dangerous as you are'.

 **"I highly doubt that."** He chuckles. 

"We'll see." I say out loud, quietly. 

Logan bounces Aki a little in his arm before putting him on his shoulder and walking away.

"Can't wait to tell Laura about Venom!" He's saying. 

"Yea. Sounds like a really cool guy." Logan humors him. 

Aki waves bye over his dad’s shoulders before putting his finger to his lips in a ‘shush’ sign.

Smart kid. Now he knows that if he talks about V- they'll think he's imaginary.   
  
I guess should have kinda thought of that. 

 **“Hmmm… you’re better with human children than you give yourself credit for Eddie.”** Venom says as I finish up our tater tots.

“Yea… sure.” I snort.

**“I think you’d be the perfect host for my spawn.”**

I choke on tater tot- feeling a large black tendril slap my back until I can breathe. “What??” I say hoarsely.

 **“Nothing.”** He laughs.

“No seriously- what did you mean?”

 **“We will see.”** He says contently, mimicking my own statement back to me. 

“Venom- we are not spawning.” I growl. "Do you hear me??" 

He makes a small purring/ growling sound, settling down into my chest.

 **"We will see."** He repeats. 

Oh hell. 


End file.
